It’s probably noticed by every mother. Your kids behave better in other people’s homes than yours. It’s almost a universal rule that children misbehave more often with their mothers. Psychologists explain that they know that it happens and why it happens.
Home is safe
Unless there are problems, children with every fibre of their little bodies know that home is a safe place. Here they can be completely themselves.
Of course, they know they will get a punishment when they grab scissors and jump on the couch. And yes, they also understand that they can get their mother very angry when they hit their little brother or sister.
But, better than anything, they know that home is their safe haven. They know that they can trust you and that you will love them unconditionally. No matter how they misbehave.
When small children are at school, they use all resources in their limited power to keep their impulses under control. For example, they have to sit still while they actually want to run around and have to listen to the teacher when they are too tired to do so.
In other words, it takes them an enormous amount of self-control to stick to the rules throughout the whole school day. So it is not surprising that this all changes when they get home.
When they come home, they are like little bottles of soda that have been shaken all day. If you remove the cap too quickly, the bottle explodes.
Then suddenly you’re back there. The person they trust the most. The person who will love them unconditionally, even if they’re not perfect. With you, they can be themselves again. Sullen, happy, busy, tired, messy. You love them anyway. They know that for sure.
Breathe in… breathe out
It is quite understandable that you find it frustrating when your child behaves perfectly in other people’s homes, but then suddenly turns into a screaming monster at home. You wonder if you might be doing something wrong. But don’t be afraid. You are doing it right!
So when your children run around your house like crazy lunatics again, take a moment. Breathe in, breathe out and remind yourself that they’re doing this right because you’re a good mother. They can be themselves with you.
You have taught them to behave well when they really need to, but more importantly, you have taught them that you are a loving mother who will always be there for her children. Today, tomorrow and forever.
So well done, Mom!